i would like

to live at school so that i could go back there.

because likeeveryone gets to go back to a dorm room and i'm here all...here and stuff.

or maybe my problem is that my room is such a goddamn disaster that i can't do anything in it.
and that was all well and good in high school, but now, it's kind of a situation.

and the thing is i just haven't had like...a period of 4-5 hours that isn't filled with work, homework, or school, or sleeping (which i like).

we are not counting thanksgiving break as 'time' because i was thoroughly distracted and it was waaay too short of a time.

so i'll clean the shit out of my room over christmas break, seei f that helps my state of...whatever this is. if it doesn't, and even if it does, my ass is getting an RA application as soon as they come out. i just want to see what getting out of the house is like. my parents are good about letting me independent and all of that, don't get me wrong, but i'm still under their roof and i want to get out.
of course the problems with the RA thing are huge.

like the fact that i wouldn't be able to work at brueggs any more = no monies until another job is found.
and working and going to school is already stressing the hell out of me and killing homework time dead.
so if i work, and go do school, and do the RA bit, it's a problem. but maybe eliminating the commute will help sanity. worth a try, and worst that'll happen is they won't want me to be an RA and my ass will be home for another year.


oh also these midterms/finals will kill me.
i am posting my to-do list here because its ridiculousness is admirable and i'm going to sleep soon.

shit chiara has to do in the next...way too soon, in no particular order.
-memorize 100 paintings, along with the artists, and dates (because i thought the test was a week later. yep.)
-finish painting and setting up boot self-portrait-shadow-thing thing.
    -take pictures of the damn thing 'in an environment'
    -have form study teacher hate it because that's what she does.
-repaint 2 advanced paint-by-numbers and color assignments. the originals took about 3 hours. each.
-do old advanced paint-by-numbers assignment that i never got to
   -waste a ton of paint
-write a 3-page paper for my lit class.
- do a set of questions for macbeth. and 3 other plays.
-crazy color theory painting squares thing for drawing class.
-sketches of a bigass drawing final.
-actual bigass drawing final. did i mention i have no space anywhere to draw on paper that is 3 feet long? or to set up the still life for that? yeah.
-visual language final. find articles that are interesting. write something. make 7 foot long banner picture thing in photoshop and pay 30 dollars for printing it. hoorah.

and i think that's all.

maybe i'll cross them off as i do them as a form of victory.
that. YAY MOTIVATION!