this is it.

i know i've been posting about it a lot a lot a lot
but.
i'm finally done applying for the r.a. position.
today was 'group process day'
which basically was a room full of the 100 or so people who had applied for leadership positions all playing teamwork-style games and things. those 100 people aren't all applying to be r.a's -- i've deduced there are about 40 (both returning and new) applying for arouuund 25 r.a. positions. so i only have to suck less than half of the people that they saw. which is okay. i don't remember how much of this i've already said. but yeah. i find out on friday, or so they say. which is good because then this knot in my stomach can gtfo.
however, i've tried not to get my hopes up about this position.
the key word there? tried. tried and failed miserably.
because honestly, i can't see my sanity staying intact if i'm stuck living here next year -- the past few weeks have proven that beyond any kind of doubt. i literally don't know what i'll do with myself, so i'm hoping so hardcore that this works out.

also i'm animating a thing for my drawing class
animating is motherfuckin' tough. i'm using photoshop so not super hightech or anything but still dude woah. i mean like woah. and i have puppet pieces to make. and work tomorrow. aye carumba liiiife.
in other news, spring break is the week after next.
also i've discovered the best strategy for dealing with annoying/harassing poll-takers/money-wanters outside of the school.
(i once was asked if i wanted to support/advance gay rights and i said no and marched on 'cause i was late to class. this is a better coping mechanism, promise.)
i simply say "non parlo inglese" and walk onwards. no questions asked. i've either stunned them because the whitest white girl ever just spoke italian words and expected them to believe she didn't speak english, or they think i don't speak english and leave me alone. win. fucking. win.
also i'm tired and going to bed now goodnight blog.

i will know if i have the r.a. position by the beginning of march.
that's really. really. really. soon.
i have to impress people in the 'group process day' (fuck all if i actually know what that is) on saturday for six hours. and then it's waiting.
i just want to get out of the house and breathe.
and don't get me wrong, i know that dorm living isn't perfect, but i can't do this house for another year, as i've said a million times.
but i mean i could like....not be at home.
but i like...get a single room automatically which is shiny.
and yeah. i mean getting out. and living in boston? what could be better? nothing.
i've got friends who are talking about getting apartments in town and i'm just like I WOULD LOVE TO LIVE WITH YOU BUT. being an r.a. is my only way out and dear god do i want out so bad. i'm gonna make this happen, guys. i gotsta.
onwards and upwards!

why i can't be a printmaking major and other logic

because as far as art majors go, it's extra impractical and extra expensive.
consider that paper for it costs roughly $4.00 a sheet (that adds up quick)
the copper that you need in order to etch costs $5.00 for a really itty bitty piece
and the tools and shit are expensive
and the presses that you need to use to -- yanno -- print yer shit -- aren't exactly the things you can buy and keep in the basement, and once you graduate, fuck all if you have a place to print your shit.
so yeah. impractical for an ART major -- and that's saying something, y'all.

but basically, i know the general track i want to go down
it's just a question of how i get there.
because, well, here's the thing.
i could be a straight up illustration major, do my 3 years of that, then come back and give massart MORE of my money for an extra year to get my teaching certificate. after which i'd need to get a master's degree if i wanted to teach in massachusetts. or i could just gtfo of this awesome but really expensive state and somehow teach shit elsewhere who knows.

or i could be an illustration major and get a damned job ILLUSTRATING SHIT FUCK YES REALISTIC WORLD VIEW.

or
i could be an art ed major with a focus in illustration, meaning that i'd take all of my art ed requirements as well as taking all of my electives in illustration.

OR

i could be an art ed major and just an art ed major which would mean i'd do all the art ed stuff AND i'd have the opportunity/requirements to take classes in a bunch of different areas of the school, like glass and all kinds of things.

that being said fuck if i know what i want to do.
i like the idea of broadening my horizons while i'm in a school where i can totally do that and have access to some awesome resources, but also at least my head wants a 'practical' knowlege and learning some 'real skills' or whatever that means in the art world. i mean, i don't know. but at the same time i think that, especially the way things are today, it'd be helpful to have a wider knowledge than just 'illustration' will give m, because you can't really get outside electives until upper-class years so i don't know dudes. i just don't know.

semester twoooo

So second semester has started yay! 

Two weeks in and I'm already going a little crazy, but what else is new? 

I think part of the problem is that I'm taking four studio classes, and not an academic, this semester. Problem? Well, it'll only get more interesting as midterms and finals come around, but hey. 

I have a puppetmaking class on Monday from 8-1, which is pretty awesome. We make puppets and they actually work sometimes and I'm learning a lot and it's just kind of fantastic, to be honest -- it's just a lot of sawing, drilling, etc which is actually pretty fun, but hard to do when my workshop space is preeeetty much my room. Additionally, the teacher looks like he could have strolled out of a 'This Old House' episode, which just makes everything awesome.

Then there's printmaking, Tuesday 8-1. It's taught by this really fantastic older (and just slightly gay) guy, who has said several times that he's not concerned about us making great art, just learning the processes. Which is great, because even just the processes required for this stuff is craaaazay. There's at least ten steps involved in getting anything done, and with a big class, you really need those five hours to accomplish everything. Also we get to work with crazy chemicals and complicated presses and make pretty things. Singular complaint about this class is that its materials are really fucking expensive. Like...10 sheets of paper? $26. That. And each of the tools is gonna be like...15-20 bucks a pop. YAY NEVER HAVING MONEY AGAIN EVER. 

Visual Language Two -- 'Time' -- we got to pick one of a million different classes for this requirement, and my teacher's name is Jarrett, and he's the scary Asian parent I never had, which is awesome. The class is 'the sequenced narrative' and explores bunches of different ways of storytelling, etc etc etc. And it's pretty awesome -- although Jarrett's got really high standards and is definitely intimidating, he knows what he's doing, and I feel like I've got a lot to learn from this class.

Finally, there's my "Figure in Color" drawing class. which is taught by this fantastic lady who reminds me of Ms. Melito so hardcore. She's always talking about 'following her inspiration' and she's just the best little person ever in the world. I love her and I can't wait for more of this class because it involves more drawing naked people and god i love doing that because people are so damn pretty. 

Also, I suck pretty bad at this 'being at home' thing, and I'm submitting my R.A. application tomorrow, which will be followed by a group interview,  and an individual one. It's wicked competitive, but sophomores as R.A's is totally not unheard of, and I'm seriously motivated to do what I need to do to not be living in Melrose next year. The one snaffoo is that, while they give you a free (single!) room, they charge you 3,000 that you have to put in a meal plan. If I haul ass over the summer and make with lots of working, I might stand a chance (but they have to like me first) -- here's hoping! 

I need to update more so I don't give you crazy blockposts like this.

Chicago and TMI. :]

I'm taking a moment to update this, because hey -- I have thoughts, even when I'm several hours and a timezone away.

We got here (to a town on the outskirts of Chicago) at about 11 last Friday, and we're leaving on a 6 AM flight tomorrow. It's only been a week, but that week's been plenty long for me to realize how much I miss my Dad's side of the family out here. Don't get me wrong -- Mom's side's great and fabulous and a lot of fun, but even though they're close geographically to us, we don't really see them a lot. They never all get together -- there's an aunt I haven't seen since I was too small to remember, and somebody's alway's feuding with someone. Not to feed into a stereotype, but if anyone's ever seen the depictions of Jack's crazy Irish family on 30 Rock -- there's a lot of that shit that they just don't make up. Except that my grammy's awesome and not at all like Jack's mom so there.

Anyway.

Both sides of my family are big. Like, really big. Mom's got two brothers and four sisters. Dad's got four brothers and a sister -- so technically his side of the family's smaller, but I always say there are more of them, because in my head, there are. I think it's because, when my dad's side of the family gets together, there's always one hell of a lot of noise. All of his brothers and sisters are married, and most of them have kids, and some of those kids have kids -- so it's kind of this rowdy noisy gathering of people, and I never really thought to count which ones were actually my uncles and aunts or not.

So if I've ever lied to you and said I had seven or eight uncles, I wasn't lying to you -- I was just talking about them in terms of the amount of noise they make.

It also makes me really sad that most of you won't ever meet these people, because they're all awesome and such fun -- especially my Nonna.

She's this little old Italian lady, and she's gotten littler and older since I saw her last, three years ago. She's somewhere around 86 years old, and shorter than I am. She's got the most adorable accent and way of saying things that I've ever heard, and she's just the best. She's always trying to do things that she shouldn't be -- always wants to help do the dishes no matter how much we tell her we've got them, it's fine. She walks around

Nonna also was really, really pretty when she was younger. And while we were looking around the room I'm staying in, my brother found this picture of her -- it's old and faded and it's kinda wrinkled, but it's a nice picture of her sitting on some stairs or something. On the back, though, there's this adorable handwritten poem, and I'm putting it up here so that it doesn't get lost, so that it's somewhere.

You

I hold most dear the friends I have

found tired and true

But of them all the one most dear

my love, is you

My friends share talk and laughter

for an hour or two

But when my heart seeks comfort

my love

I come to you. 

So there's that. And it's in this really tiny handwriting, and the pen's all faded on it, but that's what it says. It's just super adorable because I don't know, you just don't think of your grandparents in this lovey-dovey context but there they are being cute and writing poems and stuff.

Moving on.

We spent Christmas Eve at my uncle's house -- he lives right across from Nonna. All the aunts and uncles were there, a cousin or two -- and the highlight of the night was all of my uncles, and my cousin coming downstairs dressed in sunglasses and santa hats singing and dancing to 'jingle bell rock' and giving out presents. yeah. That's the thing I love about my Midwest relatives. They have fun and they're not ashamed of it and yeah. It rocked, basically. Also my cousin is going to Shanghai for a semester with his college, which is pretty boss -- though I don't envy the length of the plane ride he's going to have to take. 

Christmas Day, we went to my cousin Julie's house -- she's not actually my cousin, she's dad's cousin, but she's been cousin Julie to me forever and ever and ever. So she's my cousin. She has two adorable little girls who are about 10-11, and they got their first cellphones for christmas HOMG. Needless to say, these cellphones are leaps and bounds above the rock that I was gifted with as my first communication device. I mean, they're not smartphones or anything, but they're thin and they flip. These two children have gotten ahold of my number, and have been texting me nonstop. BOOYAH. I'm absolutely determined to be the cool cousin to them that their mother was to me.

Sidenote. I am tired because it took me three tries to get the right form of 'their' up there. 

Anyway it was awesome and lots of fun and mob stories were told which are great because most of my family's avoided that scene, but by-marriage people and stuff have been involved. Seriously, though. Fun stories, fun people. 

We pretty much chilled on Monday and Tuesday, which was swell, because we got to spend time at the house with Nonna which was good. Also on Tuesday I drove my uncle's car to run errands with dad. Yeah. About that. He has some kind of older Ford Taurus and compared to my Accord holy shit. Nothing runs right on that thing, you have to fight it to get it to start, wrestle it to switch gears, shit, even the blinkers are a hassle. But everyone survived so all was well in the end. 

Wednesday we had a superfun day -- we went out to the botanical gardens where my aunt works. The gardens themselves are huge, and I'd love to see them in the summertime when everything's in bloom. They had this cute exhibit inside though, it was all kinds of chicago landmarks, buildings, etc, replicated out of natural materials, really realistically. They were fabulous -- not to mention they had it SNOWING INSIDE LIKE REAL SNOW BUT IT MELTED AND WASNT COLD. Not kidding, guys.

But also, we got to see where my aunt works. She's a botanist. But like. A kickass one. Because she's studying invasive plant species nad her lab's wicked legit, trust me guys. Also, one of her mentors is currently trying to derive some kind of fuel from mushrooms and apparently his research is actually making headway which is goddamn cool as far as I am concerned. Also did I mention my aunt is a for real legit scientist that does important stuff? She is a cool cat. 

Thursday was another chillin' day, we were supposed to go to the Art Institute of Chicago (museum, not shitty marketed school) but dad wasn't feeling hot, so there was much chilling with Nonna. We also ninjasnuck out to this Italian market that's kindof like a Paces but better and we bought her some kind of cakey-thing that she likes a lot called Panforte -- not to be confused with Panetone or however you spell it. I also went on an Italy nostalgia trip and bought all the things that were imported that made me remember going to italy which was bad but awesome. 

Also I've been typing this post (also doing other things) while waiting for it to be 3 AM central time so that we can get ready to go for our flight home. After all, I miss these guys like crazy, but I miss you guys back home too, and I'll be on home turf at 9 AM. See you all soon! 

hihihihi

i'm leaving to go to new york in less than half an hour i cant wait i'm so excited also i have been to new york only once in 7th grade we went to the met but now aaaaaaah okay and then i'll see everyone later but aaaaaah and life is doing me a solid right now it really is im so excited.

end of semester summary

here is my end of semester blog post, because guess what -- i'm finally done with absolutely everything. 

well.

almost.

there's still a paper for my theater class, but  i could pretty write something vaguely coherent, make it  four pages long, and be absolutely fine. 

finals nearly killed me, though.

first there were the photographs of the boot i made for form study -- as if making the boot wasn't hard enough. had to take three meaningful photographs, and have them be pretty and shit. taking pictures is difficult, especially when you're trying to set them up with a horse that thinks your boot thing is going to kill her. so there was that. got the photos, form study teacher vaguely liked them kind of or something. 

drawing -- the teacher was unamused by the fact that i didn't 'follow instructions' by not placing my clothing that i was drawing 'in an environment'. i drew the stuff on a mannequin and it was quite large and in charge. imho. but she basically was mad that i didn't have it coming out of a drawer or something, but couldn't deny that it was a good drawing so ha. so happy to be done with her.

visual language -- my visual language professor makes up for the bullshit of all of my other professors put me through. he actually knew his shit, and was tough about it -- not mean i'mma kill you tough -- but he'd make sure you did the best that you could do on any given assignment, which is awesome. he's also my academic advisor, which means i'll get to talk with him lots and lots over the next years. we had to do a six foot long piece based around a political issue -- i did mine based on the Stop Online Piracy Act, and he loved it a lot, which is great because i nearly poked my eyes out doing it. photoshop does not like six foot long by seventeen inch files, let me tell you. solid 5 minutes to save each time. but it happened! and it got done! and he kept it for a possible exhibition yay. and it only cost me 30 dollars to print YAY.

also quick grade explaining -- everything but academic classes are pass/fail. teachers can give you 'incompletes' which means you have until halfway through the next semester to suck up to them and get them to pass you. pass/fail is the scariest shit either, because some people, like my drawing teacher, don't bother with the 'incomplete' and either pass you or fail you. yay life.

so there's that.

also i was like...able to be social and chill with my would-have-been-rommate for part of the night last thursday. we watched a movie, mostly talked over it, and had a pretty solid time. i was really happy, and it was great to be able to stay around and talk and everything. it's stuff like that that makes me really want to be able to live there next year.

which brings me to my newest goal in life -- being an RA next year. there are pros and cons here and there, but i really want to be more of a part of the life on campus sort of deal. the application process is stressful and competitive -- i was able to talk with the people who hire people about it, and they said they've had people who've never lived on campus be RA's so there's hope and stuff and yeah. so we'll see how that goes. expect updates and stress and stuff in that regard.

and now there's vacation until january eighteenth which is awesome, because i get so many awesome people back in my life. 

i'm also going to new york on monday to meet one of these awesome people. i like...booked my own bus ticket and anything. and i know it's probably not as big of a deal as i think that it is, but it was pretty cool to be able to be like...i'm buying a bus ticket, and i'm going. to new york city. and that's that. i dunno, it was just this great moment of autonomy, and when i'm actually going and everything -- aaaaah, i'm so excited. 

i don't know how i'm going to make it through twelve hours of bagels this weekend to get to that -- and after coming back, i'm off to chicago to visit relatives, but but but AFTER THAT it's party with everyone time of awesome and win.

guys, i'm super excited and life is great.

breaking news edit -- I PASSED FORM STUDY. also got a b in my art history class. dunno how the math worked out there, but can't complain, that's for damn sure.