projects and things. :D

it finally seems like i've hit a sort of stride or something in terms of my schoolwork -- i' m really like...inspired and excited about a lot of the projects i'm going to be working on over the coming weeks, and they are as follows.

the first is for my puppetry class -- it's a horse skeleton marionette which i'm mostly going to be carving out of wood, and i think i'm going to paint it a sort of off-white and do some fun, intricate designs on it. my goals for its motion is to be able to have it trot, rear, bow with one foot forward, and maybe shake its head and buck. puppets are funny because there are like...three phases to making them. you have to make the parts, then you have to make sure that the parts articulate the way that you want them to (which may require modifying them in ways that make them not look the way you want them to in the end), and then stringing, which is an art in and of itself and i will need at least a week or two to figure out. my goal is to try to have a fairly complete skeleton by two weeks from now, when we'll be bringing the projects into class for the teacher to help with.

then there's printmaking -- latest project is a reduction woodblock. i'm really falling for woodcarving, there's something really great and tactile about it that i'm kinda growing obsessed with.  except for the fact that it's messy and now there are wood shavings like everywhere in my room which is not a good thing. but hey. so, a reduction woodblock basically consists of taking a block, cutting a design into it, printing that design a lot of times, then cutting away more and using another color of ink and printing that on top of what you've already printed. this can make some really excellent effects, but part of the problem with it is that you can only print the full image for one run. if you make twenty prints of the thing, that's all you get, because in order to get to the final image, you have to carve away at the actual block. i'm on a horse skeleton kick for whatever reason, i think they're pretty interesting and dynamic forms, so this is a horse skull that i think might have people in it or something. we'll see!

and for my sequenced narrative class -- we're making artist's books. they're not like...a book of paintings that someone else has compiled. they're a 'book' in some form or another, as a piece of art. the massart library actually has a really awesome collection of them. there were three i particularly liked -- the first was called 'touchstone', and it was a book that had been ground down to the same size and shape as a river-washed stone, so you could just hold it in the palm of your hand. it was really interesting that the artist was able to give something made of paper the qualities of rock -- you could still flip through the ground-down pages, but even the surface felt smooth. i forget the title of the second one, but a female artist had taken various items of clothing people wear throughout the course of their lives (diapers, a ballerina costume, army fatigues, jeans and a t shirt,, a wedding dress, even a prison jumpsuit!) and ground them down into fibers, making them into paper. the book then progressed from paper made of "100% Diaper" to old people pajamas. it was pretty fantastic to see all of these items of clothing that are so integral, and really significant to a lot of people, all contained in one little book. also led to a discussion about how if she were a male artist buying children's underwear and ballerina costumes off of ebay, it would totally come off as all kinds of creepy, but it was easier to accept because she was female.

and then the final book, which i was able to find and buy online, was one of the most singularly moving pieces of minimalist art that i have ever seen.  it's a white block of a book, maybe five inches thick, and the cover and pages might be 4x5. the pages are all this weighty cardstock, and the book itself (according to the internet) weighs about a pound, so it's really dense. on the cover, there are cutout block letters with the word 'ABSENCE' in all caps. the first page of the book has a single dot punched out slightly left of center of the page. this dot continues down for maybe ten pages or so, and then, there are two square cutouts, maybe about a centimeter square each, positioned so that their corners were nearly touching, like squares on a checkerboard. these cutouts continue down for 110-ish pages, i think, until the final page, which is a cutout of a street layout.

for me, it was about midway through the pages when it dawned on me that these were meant to represent the twin towers. once that realization hit, it was so strangely powerful to flip through those pages, each one representing a floor and all of the people who were there. i've never, ever liked minimalist art, but this was such an eloquent, powerful piece that it absolutely blew me away.

i don't quite know what i'm going to do for my book, but i know i want to use a lot of woodcuts, maybe some leather -- i've got two weeks for it and am definitely still in the planning stages.

and finally, my drawing class -- the theme for our second project is 'the figure in practice'. the teacher's very loose about her definitions of what she wants for the projects, so as long as you can argue it effectively, she'll take pretty much anything. that being said, i'm continuing on my skeleton kick. it's going to be a big piece, at least six feet long, probably four-five feet tall. i'm still figuring out the exact composition, but i know i want to use ink. it's going to be a horse and rider as skeletons, approaching some form of an obstacle in the middle of the page, and as they take off to the jump, a paint-splatter of muscle and skin starts attatching to them, until as they're perfectly over the jump, they're totally normal looking, and then all that stuff starts peeling away as they descend towards the ground again, until they're skeletons again, and i might have the horse trip and fall and end it with them crumpled up on the ground, but who knows. this is more a logistical problem than anything, because huge sheets of paper like this are epic impractical to work on, however, using smaller sheets or boards will invariably create this segmented effect that i know i don't want. all the tragedies.

tl;dr: i go to art school. 

right so this.

i hate this new theme my life has of 'lets build up to some really cool stuff and then have it crash and burn'. 

let me make it clear that it's so not the person who was going to get me down there's fault.she's awesome, she got sick, shit happens. but it's incredibly, painfully frustrating. this whole thing looked like it was going to work out beautifully. after all, gabe's play happened to be happening during my spring break, the mutual friend was free, and i got off of work. oh also today would have been a beautiful day to be on the road -- all clear, no rain, no nothing. so yeah. we would've gone down, stayed tonight, seen the show tomorrow, and left there sometime later on saturday. needless to say that didn't work. and he's back in two weeks so it's not that terribly bad except that it's another two weeks. i started counting down two weeks til seeing him two weeks ago. 

but still. 

i'd been really, sincerely looking forward to this. i'd planned things around it and now? exactly jack and shit. two weeks isn't that bad -- i keep saying that. it just kind of -- it sucks. because my countdown was over and i was ready to go and now i'm stuck sitting here in my room and typing this. so there's that.

also gabriel was a reasonable person and convinced me spending 100 dollars for almost 20 hours worth of travel to be in Delware for less than 24. so. i mean i guess he's the smart one in this situation but still. 

it'd be great if things went the way i planned for once.

dear entitled melrosian prickwads

we were out of bagels because fuckwads of OTHER entitled melrosian pricks woke up earlier than you to get bagels.
this is absolutely not cause for you to send a complaint about us to management.
especially when we were all very nice and apologetic about the situation.
shit happens, kiddos, so suck it the hell up.
kthnx have a nice day.

oh also the girl i'm stuck closing with now? she's an entitled melrosian private school chick who sucks at life the universe and everything.
so there's that.

in other news, spring break this week wooooo.
which really means 3 days of crazy doing of stuff for after break, and then going to delaware thursday-saturday woop wooop.

constructive and useful blogpost is constructive.

so i didn't get the r.a. position, as most of you already know, but i need to rant about it at length, so here goes.

i said i wasn't going to get my hopes up about it, but -- lookit that -- i did.
i was super excited about not needing to take the train and a bus home every day. i was super excited about being able to see my friends more, being right across the street from the school and the myriad of resources it provides. i was really, freaking, pumped.

and then i got the email saying 'thanks, but no thanks'.

and i don't know what to do.

it's so unendingly frustrating and i kind of want to scream at something but i don't know what. i want a fucking appeals court is what i fucking want. because i know i'm extremely biased, but i think people who can pay to live at the damned school should be given less priority in these things than people who can't or something i don't know it just makes me mad.

what really angers me even though it shouldn't is that this girl i know pretty well got it. she's a complete airhead and i have absolutely no idea why she got it and i didnt when i'm a reasonable well grounded human being and i have no idea how i didn't get that across to them. fuck it.

the optimistic way of looking at it (once i get to that stage -- it's a long way off) is that not living there will allow me to save a bunch of money for moving out once college is over. but that's long term and the mature way of looking at it and i'm just not feeling that at all right now. right now i'm feeling like i want to not live in this house much longer but there's not a fucking thing i can do about it so yay.

this is it.

i know i've been posting about it a lot a lot a lot
but.
i'm finally done applying for the r.a. position.
today was 'group process day'
which basically was a room full of the 100 or so people who had applied for leadership positions all playing teamwork-style games and things. those 100 people aren't all applying to be r.a's -- i've deduced there are about 40 (both returning and new) applying for arouuund 25 r.a. positions. so i only have to suck less than half of the people that they saw. which is okay. i don't remember how much of this i've already said. but yeah. i find out on friday, or so they say. which is good because then this knot in my stomach can gtfo.
however, i've tried not to get my hopes up about this position.
the key word there? tried. tried and failed miserably.
because honestly, i can't see my sanity staying intact if i'm stuck living here next year -- the past few weeks have proven that beyond any kind of doubt. i literally don't know what i'll do with myself, so i'm hoping so hardcore that this works out.

also i'm animating a thing for my drawing class
animating is motherfuckin' tough. i'm using photoshop so not super hightech or anything but still dude woah. i mean like woah. and i have puppet pieces to make. and work tomorrow. aye carumba liiiife.
in other news, spring break is the week after next.
also i've discovered the best strategy for dealing with annoying/harassing poll-takers/money-wanters outside of the school.
(i once was asked if i wanted to support/advance gay rights and i said no and marched on 'cause i was late to class. this is a better coping mechanism, promise.)
i simply say "non parlo inglese" and walk onwards. no questions asked. i've either stunned them because the whitest white girl ever just spoke italian words and expected them to believe she didn't speak english, or they think i don't speak english and leave me alone. win. fucking. win.
also i'm tired and going to bed now goodnight blog.

i will know if i have the r.a. position by the beginning of march.
that's really. really. really. soon.
i have to impress people in the 'group process day' (fuck all if i actually know what that is) on saturday for six hours. and then it's waiting.
i just want to get out of the house and breathe.
and don't get me wrong, i know that dorm living isn't perfect, but i can't do this house for another year, as i've said a million times.
but i mean i could like....not be at home.
but i like...get a single room automatically which is shiny.
and yeah. i mean getting out. and living in boston? what could be better? nothing.
i've got friends who are talking about getting apartments in town and i'm just like I WOULD LOVE TO LIVE WITH YOU BUT. being an r.a. is my only way out and dear god do i want out so bad. i'm gonna make this happen, guys. i gotsta.
onwards and upwards!

why i can't be a printmaking major and other logic

because as far as art majors go, it's extra impractical and extra expensive.
consider that paper for it costs roughly $4.00 a sheet (that adds up quick)
the copper that you need in order to etch costs $5.00 for a really itty bitty piece
and the tools and shit are expensive
and the presses that you need to use to -- yanno -- print yer shit -- aren't exactly the things you can buy and keep in the basement, and once you graduate, fuck all if you have a place to print your shit.
so yeah. impractical for an ART major -- and that's saying something, y'all.

but basically, i know the general track i want to go down
it's just a question of how i get there.
because, well, here's the thing.
i could be a straight up illustration major, do my 3 years of that, then come back and give massart MORE of my money for an extra year to get my teaching certificate. after which i'd need to get a master's degree if i wanted to teach in massachusetts. or i could just gtfo of this awesome but really expensive state and somehow teach shit elsewhere who knows.

or i could be an illustration major and get a damned job ILLUSTRATING SHIT FUCK YES REALISTIC WORLD VIEW.

or
i could be an art ed major with a focus in illustration, meaning that i'd take all of my art ed requirements as well as taking all of my electives in illustration.

OR

i could be an art ed major and just an art ed major which would mean i'd do all the art ed stuff AND i'd have the opportunity/requirements to take classes in a bunch of different areas of the school, like glass and all kinds of things.

that being said fuck if i know what i want to do.
i like the idea of broadening my horizons while i'm in a school where i can totally do that and have access to some awesome resources, but also at least my head wants a 'practical' knowlege and learning some 'real skills' or whatever that means in the art world. i mean, i don't know. but at the same time i think that, especially the way things are today, it'd be helpful to have a wider knowledge than just 'illustration' will give m, because you can't really get outside electives until upper-class years so i don't know dudes. i just don't know.