Chicago and TMI. :]

I'm taking a moment to update this, because hey -- I have thoughts, even when I'm several hours and a timezone away.

We got here (to a town on the outskirts of Chicago) at about 11 last Friday, and we're leaving on a 6 AM flight tomorrow. It's only been a week, but that week's been plenty long for me to realize how much I miss my Dad's side of the family out here. Don't get me wrong -- Mom's side's great and fabulous and a lot of fun, but even though they're close geographically to us, we don't really see them a lot. They never all get together -- there's an aunt I haven't seen since I was too small to remember, and somebody's alway's feuding with someone. Not to feed into a stereotype, but if anyone's ever seen the depictions of Jack's crazy Irish family on 30 Rock -- there's a lot of that shit that they just don't make up. Except that my grammy's awesome and not at all like Jack's mom so there.

Anyway.

Both sides of my family are big. Like, really big. Mom's got two brothers and four sisters. Dad's got four brothers and a sister -- so technically his side of the family's smaller, but I always say there are more of them, because in my head, there are. I think it's because, when my dad's side of the family gets together, there's always one hell of a lot of noise. All of his brothers and sisters are married, and most of them have kids, and some of those kids have kids -- so it's kind of this rowdy noisy gathering of people, and I never really thought to count which ones were actually my uncles and aunts or not.

So if I've ever lied to you and said I had seven or eight uncles, I wasn't lying to you -- I was just talking about them in terms of the amount of noise they make.

It also makes me really sad that most of you won't ever meet these people, because they're all awesome and such fun -- especially my Nonna.

She's this little old Italian lady, and she's gotten littler and older since I saw her last, three years ago. She's somewhere around 86 years old, and shorter than I am. She's got the most adorable accent and way of saying things that I've ever heard, and she's just the best. She's always trying to do things that she shouldn't be -- always wants to help do the dishes no matter how much we tell her we've got them, it's fine. She walks around

Nonna also was really, really pretty when she was younger. And while we were looking around the room I'm staying in, my brother found this picture of her -- it's old and faded and it's kinda wrinkled, but it's a nice picture of her sitting on some stairs or something. On the back, though, there's this adorable handwritten poem, and I'm putting it up here so that it doesn't get lost, so that it's somewhere.

You

I hold most dear the friends I have

found tired and true

But of them all the one most dear

my love, is you

My friends share talk and laughter

for an hour or two

But when my heart seeks comfort

my love

I come to you. 

So there's that. And it's in this really tiny handwriting, and the pen's all faded on it, but that's what it says. It's just super adorable because I don't know, you just don't think of your grandparents in this lovey-dovey context but there they are being cute and writing poems and stuff.

Moving on.

We spent Christmas Eve at my uncle's house -- he lives right across from Nonna. All the aunts and uncles were there, a cousin or two -- and the highlight of the night was all of my uncles, and my cousin coming downstairs dressed in sunglasses and santa hats singing and dancing to 'jingle bell rock' and giving out presents. yeah. That's the thing I love about my Midwest relatives. They have fun and they're not ashamed of it and yeah. It rocked, basically. Also my cousin is going to Shanghai for a semester with his college, which is pretty boss -- though I don't envy the length of the plane ride he's going to have to take. 

Christmas Day, we went to my cousin Julie's house -- she's not actually my cousin, she's dad's cousin, but she's been cousin Julie to me forever and ever and ever. So she's my cousin. She has two adorable little girls who are about 10-11, and they got their first cellphones for christmas HOMG. Needless to say, these cellphones are leaps and bounds above the rock that I was gifted with as my first communication device. I mean, they're not smartphones or anything, but they're thin and they flip. These two children have gotten ahold of my number, and have been texting me nonstop. BOOYAH. I'm absolutely determined to be the cool cousin to them that their mother was to me.

Sidenote. I am tired because it took me three tries to get the right form of 'their' up there. 

Anyway it was awesome and lots of fun and mob stories were told which are great because most of my family's avoided that scene, but by-marriage people and stuff have been involved. Seriously, though. Fun stories, fun people. 

We pretty much chilled on Monday and Tuesday, which was swell, because we got to spend time at the house with Nonna which was good. Also on Tuesday I drove my uncle's car to run errands with dad. Yeah. About that. He has some kind of older Ford Taurus and compared to my Accord holy shit. Nothing runs right on that thing, you have to fight it to get it to start, wrestle it to switch gears, shit, even the blinkers are a hassle. But everyone survived so all was well in the end. 

Wednesday we had a superfun day -- we went out to the botanical gardens where my aunt works. The gardens themselves are huge, and I'd love to see them in the summertime when everything's in bloom. They had this cute exhibit inside though, it was all kinds of chicago landmarks, buildings, etc, replicated out of natural materials, really realistically. They were fabulous -- not to mention they had it SNOWING INSIDE LIKE REAL SNOW BUT IT MELTED AND WASNT COLD. Not kidding, guys.

But also, we got to see where my aunt works. She's a botanist. But like. A kickass one. Because she's studying invasive plant species nad her lab's wicked legit, trust me guys. Also, one of her mentors is currently trying to derive some kind of fuel from mushrooms and apparently his research is actually making headway which is goddamn cool as far as I am concerned. Also did I mention my aunt is a for real legit scientist that does important stuff? She is a cool cat. 

Thursday was another chillin' day, we were supposed to go to the Art Institute of Chicago (museum, not shitty marketed school) but dad wasn't feeling hot, so there was much chilling with Nonna. We also ninjasnuck out to this Italian market that's kindof like a Paces but better and we bought her some kind of cakey-thing that she likes a lot called Panforte -- not to be confused with Panetone or however you spell it. I also went on an Italy nostalgia trip and bought all the things that were imported that made me remember going to italy which was bad but awesome. 

Also I've been typing this post (also doing other things) while waiting for it to be 3 AM central time so that we can get ready to go for our flight home. After all, I miss these guys like crazy, but I miss you guys back home too, and I'll be on home turf at 9 AM. See you all soon! 

hihihihi

i'm leaving to go to new york in less than half an hour i cant wait i'm so excited also i have been to new york only once in 7th grade we went to the met but now aaaaaaah okay and then i'll see everyone later but aaaaaah and life is doing me a solid right now it really is im so excited.

end of semester summary

here is my end of semester blog post, because guess what -- i'm finally done with absolutely everything. 

well.

almost.

there's still a paper for my theater class, but  i could pretty write something vaguely coherent, make it  four pages long, and be absolutely fine. 

finals nearly killed me, though.

first there were the photographs of the boot i made for form study -- as if making the boot wasn't hard enough. had to take three meaningful photographs, and have them be pretty and shit. taking pictures is difficult, especially when you're trying to set them up with a horse that thinks your boot thing is going to kill her. so there was that. got the photos, form study teacher vaguely liked them kind of or something. 

drawing -- the teacher was unamused by the fact that i didn't 'follow instructions' by not placing my clothing that i was drawing 'in an environment'. i drew the stuff on a mannequin and it was quite large and in charge. imho. but she basically was mad that i didn't have it coming out of a drawer or something, but couldn't deny that it was a good drawing so ha. so happy to be done with her.

visual language -- my visual language professor makes up for the bullshit of all of my other professors put me through. he actually knew his shit, and was tough about it -- not mean i'mma kill you tough -- but he'd make sure you did the best that you could do on any given assignment, which is awesome. he's also my academic advisor, which means i'll get to talk with him lots and lots over the next years. we had to do a six foot long piece based around a political issue -- i did mine based on the Stop Online Piracy Act, and he loved it a lot, which is great because i nearly poked my eyes out doing it. photoshop does not like six foot long by seventeen inch files, let me tell you. solid 5 minutes to save each time. but it happened! and it got done! and he kept it for a possible exhibition yay. and it only cost me 30 dollars to print YAY.

also quick grade explaining -- everything but academic classes are pass/fail. teachers can give you 'incompletes' which means you have until halfway through the next semester to suck up to them and get them to pass you. pass/fail is the scariest shit either, because some people, like my drawing teacher, don't bother with the 'incomplete' and either pass you or fail you. yay life.

so there's that.

also i was like...able to be social and chill with my would-have-been-rommate for part of the night last thursday. we watched a movie, mostly talked over it, and had a pretty solid time. i was really happy, and it was great to be able to stay around and talk and everything. it's stuff like that that makes me really want to be able to live there next year.

which brings me to my newest goal in life -- being an RA next year. there are pros and cons here and there, but i really want to be more of a part of the life on campus sort of deal. the application process is stressful and competitive -- i was able to talk with the people who hire people about it, and they said they've had people who've never lived on campus be RA's so there's hope and stuff and yeah. so we'll see how that goes. expect updates and stress and stuff in that regard.

and now there's vacation until january eighteenth which is awesome, because i get so many awesome people back in my life. 

i'm also going to new york on monday to meet one of these awesome people. i like...booked my own bus ticket and anything. and i know it's probably not as big of a deal as i think that it is, but it was pretty cool to be able to be like...i'm buying a bus ticket, and i'm going. to new york city. and that's that. i dunno, it was just this great moment of autonomy, and when i'm actually going and everything -- aaaaah, i'm so excited. 

i don't know how i'm going to make it through twelve hours of bagels this weekend to get to that -- and after coming back, i'm off to chicago to visit relatives, but but but AFTER THAT it's party with everyone time of awesome and win.

guys, i'm super excited and life is great.

breaking news edit -- I PASSED FORM STUDY. also got a b in my art history class. dunno how the math worked out there, but can't complain, that's for damn sure.

the light at the end of the tunnel

basically
i just have to make it through tonight. if i can get everything i need to get done done, even if that means an all-nighter, i can crash tomorrow night when i get home from school and be almost done. so i have motivation or something and goddamn it i will get shit did. :D

also got a plan for applying to be an RA/CA next year. imma make myself the most appealing muthafucka those people've ever seen. :D

i would like

to live at school so that i could go back there.

because likeeveryone gets to go back to a dorm room and i'm here all...here and stuff.

or maybe my problem is that my room is such a goddamn disaster that i can't do anything in it.
and that was all well and good in high school, but now, it's kind of a situation.

and the thing is i just haven't had like...a period of 4-5 hours that isn't filled with work, homework, or school, or sleeping (which i like).

we are not counting thanksgiving break as 'time' because i was thoroughly distracted and it was waaay too short of a time.

so i'll clean the shit out of my room over christmas break, seei f that helps my state of...whatever this is. if it doesn't, and even if it does, my ass is getting an RA application as soon as they come out. i just want to see what getting out of the house is like. my parents are good about letting me independent and all of that, don't get me wrong, but i'm still under their roof and i want to get out.
of course the problems with the RA thing are huge.

like the fact that i wouldn't be able to work at brueggs any more = no monies until another job is found.
and working and going to school is already stressing the hell out of me and killing homework time dead.
so if i work, and go do school, and do the RA bit, it's a problem. but maybe eliminating the commute will help sanity. worth a try, and worst that'll happen is they won't want me to be an RA and my ass will be home for another year.


oh also these midterms/finals will kill me.
i am posting my to-do list here because its ridiculousness is admirable and i'm going to sleep soon.

shit chiara has to do in the next...way too soon, in no particular order.
-memorize 100 paintings, along with the artists, and dates (because i thought the test was a week later. yep.)
-finish painting and setting up boot self-portrait-shadow-thing thing.
    -take pictures of the damn thing 'in an environment'
    -have form study teacher hate it because that's what she does.
-repaint 2 advanced paint-by-numbers and color assignments. the originals took about 3 hours. each.
-do old advanced paint-by-numbers assignment that i never got to
   -waste a ton of paint
-write a 3-page paper for my lit class.
- do a set of questions for macbeth. and 3 other plays.
-crazy color theory painting squares thing for drawing class.
-sketches of a bigass drawing final.
-actual bigass drawing final. did i mention i have no space anywhere to draw on paper that is 3 feet long? or to set up the still life for that? yeah.
-visual language final. find articles that are interesting. write something. make 7 foot long banner picture thing in photoshop and pay 30 dollars for printing it. hoorah.

and i think that's all.

maybe i'll cross them off as i do them as a form of victory.
that. YAY MOTIVATION!

Hi Massart.

i love you, a lot.
i'm not sure that you understand that there is supposed to be a difference between 'midterms' and 'finals'.
these two very scary things are supposed to happen like...a month or so apart.
i do not need my midterm assigned for one week.
and my final the next.
this may kill me -- if only by concentrated charcoal/paint/plaster inhalation.

also fuck bagels.
that is all.

in which there is blabber of all sorts

WHINE WARNING HERE.
another whinepost oh god what's become of me. feel free to skim down to the caps down there. they're beckoning you into sunshiney territory.

but there are eighteen days left
and
this is like
the worst part of the waiting thing.

i've done it once and i think i've figured out the pattern.
days one and two after leaving are the shittiest things on the face of the earth.
the first half of the waiting sucks, but it's fine, because you just kind of let the time pass and ignore it and don't think about it too much.
it's when it hits twenty that things get real, and time moves at the approximate speed of molasses in january.
it's awful cause you can see the days all contained within one month on the calendar -- you can pinch them, even, but that's still three weekends of work, three weeks of homework and stress.

using numbers makes it sound better -- eighteen days sounds better than two weeks and four days, but still. it's still about halfway, but it feels like the downhill slope -- but instead of picking up speed, time just strolls along at whatever pace it feels like.

the worst part is
i get frustrated like crazy
but it has nothing to do with our relationship or anything
because in that regard, things are wonderful. we talk just about every day, and i'm really and truly super happy.

it's got everything to do with the anticipation, excitement, and then letdown of this whole 'seeing each other every two months' thing.

and then i get to thinking about this keeping up over an extended period of time, this like WOAAAH emotional rollercoaster thing

and i know that i need to figure out a way to manage it, or frame it right in my head.

because again: there's absolutely nothing that makes me unhappy about this situation except the distance.

it kinda gives me extended PMS or something.

also i recognize that this whine is probably unjustified and definitely whiny, and not in the fine italian whine way, but it's the rollercoastery bit that's going to start taking a toll on me, and blabbing helps make it clear that it's really just the circumstance -- not the relationship itself -- that i'm getting argh about.

i want to make this work -- and i know that it can and that it's worth it -- the past five months have definitely proved that.


/wordvomit errywhere

IN OTHER NEWS, CHILDREN

midterms/final projects. holy. shit.

also we went to the ICA with my form study class -- woah.
some of the stuff in there is absolutely glorious and beautiful
but some of it
the fuck goes on and why is it in a museum WHY.
i don't understand why somebody bouncing a dirty basketball on a piece of paper is art.
i also don't understand how works of art can be considered such when they can't stand without their title. art is a visual medium, someone's literacy shouldn't determine their ability to understand it -- that's one of my favorite things about art.

two things that were super interesting though
a piece that was an oversized chaise lounge
created out of steel -- the kin with those little raised diamonds in it. except the steel was shaped in such a way that you could really mistake it for some seriously comfy fabric and want to sit on it. that was lovely.

there were also these boxes
and on the outside they looked like they were made out of scraps of concrete/brick, etc.
they were about the same width as a chimney.
but -- when you looked inside, there were four lightbulbs, one on each wall of the box, and mirrors set up in such a way that the lights reflected infinitely downwards, forming what appeared to be this crazy mine-tunnel into another DIMENSION.

that was nifty too.
but next week we are supposed to like...talk about what we saw
and that's funny because i really gave no poops about most of it.
we are also doing a non-literal self portrait sculpture art thing in that class as part of our final. right.
there's nothing i hate more than self portraits, because other people are so mch more interesting than i am.

also college money stuff is stressful.

my visual language teacher is having us do crazy color assignments and my room needs to not be orange for that to happen. or i could just move to another room but eh.

anyway, that's about it for now, i think? :D

i talk too much.

things that suck about commuting

whine one

on a usual wednesday, i have three classes - my theater seminar from 9:45 -12:45, art history from 1:30 -3:00, and visual language 3-8. it's a long day, but it usually goes by pretty fast and easily and whatnot. this morning, i got up very much on the wrong side of the bed, i'd sort of slacked on the reading for my seminar, and was seriously contemplating not going to class. but i dragged my sorry ass out of bed, got dressed, missed the bus, but eventually got here -- on time, even! so me and my kajillion pounds of backpack (we had to bring computers to get at the latest book we've been reading) haul it five floors up, only to find a nice little sign on the door saying that class has been cancelled.

i mean, that's all well and good

if you have a place to spend the four hours until your next class -- which i don't, really. 

basically

i should have followed my instincts and stayed the heck in bed today, instead of coming all the way out here just to sit around. it's mostly just frustrating because i can't go back home and chill, because it's going to take me a solid hour and a half to get home, and by that time -- totally not worth it. all the people i know are in class right now, leaving me pretty solidly by my lonesome until 1:30, when western art starts.

i wish they had a napping couch. that'd make me super happy, but, alas.

also there are a pair of students speaking chinese/japanese or something like that right across from me, and i'm tired and it sounds like knives.

/end whine

THEY LIVE

this is my first post here. i have no idea what i am doing. but i have an announcement to make.

first, capitals are for losers. and by losers i mean people who care enough to press the shift key. sorry guys. but but but

there are creatures in the massart plaster sink.

we have this little like...walk-in closet sized room in which there is plaster. and plaster. and more plaster. there is a sink in the plaster room. it is a large, basin-like sort of thing, and there's gross water from everybody's plastering stuff in there. but whatever --you figure it drains once in a while and all is good.

wrong.

so.

very.

wrong.

a girl in my class went up to the sink to dump her bucket out, and saw little...somethings floating at the top. nothing big, probably just some crap from who-knows-what. nope. these little whispy somethings moved. moved of their own volition. yeah. nobody believed her, of course, until we all saw them twitching around in there and being creepy.

an insectophile in my class (also female. this is art school - assume female until told otherwise) informed us that they were probably mosquito hatchlings or someshit.

right. about that.

THERE ARE FUCKING MOSQUITO BABIES IN A SINK AT MY SCHOOL AND NOBODY SEEMS TO WANT TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

that is all.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/eva8/689374854/

that's what they look like, by the way. yeah.